first entry in weeks... haven't felt like blogging until now... i would guess it is just some stress thing... i can't and wouldn't blog until i feel enough to type it all out... lets see... my birthday just passed... and my parents turned obxious... i serious believe that at this moment if someone offered me 1mill for the each of them i would glady do it... they can go to hell for all i care... oh yea msn list has been cleared a fricking long time ago... this world has been made in this way... you have to grab for what you want or people will not bother... on a side note i got a handphone for my birthday how interesting lets see... no games worth mentioning... even if i had any it would be a problem even asking ANYONE to play with me... it is amazing that there would be ppl asking be to blog... 1 thing i want to making fricking clear... is that I DO NOT BLOG ON COMMAND and I WILL ONLY DO SO IF I FRICKING WELL PLEASE and SO STOP ASKING ME TO BLOG DAMNIT... lets see i have found many pics today... lets see how they look on my back ground... guess i would choose the darkest one i can find... life and death... whats the fricking difference... my life ... boring? i guess i better make something of it... maybe i should kill a feel people and see how it feels... I really like how at night nobody is around and everyone is sleeping... maybe i should go out after dark and see how those 2 freaks at home react... i wonder if theres a block function on the handphone... if there isn't i would gladly pay to have that feature... certainly would be interesting... oh maybe i can use call divert and divert all calls from home to another home telephone... that would be a riot... too bad evanesence haven't published any more albums... i want to hear more...
death is the key word of the day... lets see... i made really good crossbow yesterday no doubt about it... it fires large paper clips 2 at a time... only problem its a horror to reload... however look at it this way... the paper clips i use are rusty so if i aim right i can make 2 holes in your face where your eyes used to be... at least i think so... and i hope so... lets see... let me quote this sentance from the phantom of the opera... if i am not wrong it runs like this "fear can turn to love" well my version goes like this "love can turn to hate" however it always leaves me questioning what the fricking hell is love... lets see... www.m-w.com stats taht
Main Entry: 1love Pronunciation: 'l&vFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God5 : a god or personification of love6 : an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR7 : the sexual embrace : COPULATION8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)9 capitalized, Christian Science : GOD- at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis- in love : inspired by affection
1 : to hold dear : CHERISH2 a : to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for b (1) : CARESS (2) : to fondle amorously (3) : to copulate with3 : to like or desire actively : take pleasure in 4 : to thrive in intransitive senses : to feel affection or experience desire
from these explainations i can see fully well how love can turn to hate or fear to love... because in accuall fact love is just "attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests" so i guess what those ppl with "steads" are always harping about how much they "love" each other is damn well true... lets wish them all the best in their fricking endevous... or whatever they want to do to each other...
as to the question of whether i should go back to my old school? i serious hope i wouldn't...
gothic songs seem to give me the enegry whereas the other types of songs like classical pop or whatever slow songs or even those crazy songs take them away...
i seriously feel that one of these days if my parents goes over the line i will murder them... feelings towards people can be classified as useless in this world... why bother to keep them... or maybe because is it the ultimate thing you can have? i doubt so... although having every fricking person on this world like you is nt bad... it all comes down to the basic principle of the fact that whatever you do you HAVE to be the god damn best or it is all pointless...
The Death Angel Watches Over You12/28/2004 07:16:00 PM
going to start clearing out my msn list soon... i wouldn't block though... those who wish to message can message i wouldn't stop you... but having you on my messanger list is pointless since you can never find time to talk to me... to those precious few that i would leave on my list... i hope to be your friend as long as you draw a breathe...
a heavy fog is settling on me , no i will not fall into self pity... i will try to find a way forward... may i be doing good or evil things in the future i neither know nor care anymore... what are morals for... they are completely useless... will people accually value you more because you have good morals? as long as you don't show it to them nobody would accually care... we wear a mask through our lifes it all depends on how good you are at it... hence the saying you cannot judge a book by its cover...
people can use the mask to hide many things, their good points, their weakness, their feelings and emotions... nobody will ever be truely free of the mask... just imagine that everyone in the world is a telepath... there would be no hiding... and yet they would still always be problems... the statement always tell the true is fake no matter how you look at it... nobody in this world would true bare their heart to another... even if theres any that do that, they would come away from that experience with their hearts in pieces...
the bullshit of this word has got to be stopped... even if i have to personally see to every damn bit of it... i just hope i am not too late...
Death to all
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/30/2004 06:34:00 PM
i am going to start with a factual recount of what happened before and at the bbq...(as much as i can remember)
met huling at yck station... went to bishan... picked up another 2 shuyan and bea... then went to bedok mrt... waited while jingyu come... waited somemore debbie came... waited some more nobody came... took shuttle service to near east coast then went through underground pathway... kept walking until reached the bbq pit..
eat drink do nthing then go cycling... went to jetty came back... around 2km++ i guess each way..
then eat drink do nthing until 10 then went to rent roller blades... went 1/3 of the way to the jetty and went back... found my parents waiting for me at the chalet area at around 10.45 ... get scolded by them about nt calling back and such until 11... extended the time with the shop keepers to overnight..
went back to bbq pit to play cards eat drink and do nthing again... 3.30 set off again towards the jetty... got caught halfway in the rain... took some shelter in pavilons (wrong spelling) the rest went back the the bbq area... while i continued on... i would be guessing around.. 4.00-4.15... sat there until around 6++ when the sun was going to rise... got a call from shuyan that her sim card was in my phone(grandfather's) headed back... reached around 6.45-7.00(no watch hp time not set) i took bus 135 to the mrt... got a drink... sat there ... got up took mrt to otram park (wrong spell) walked the rest of the way to church..
here ends my boring recount... i am not in a mood to write ANY fricking form of emotional... writings at this time... i would just go beserk and murder everyone...
to those baiseurs out there... i salute you
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/28/2004 08:19:00 PM
songs... ppl seem to think that happy songs give happy emotions sad bring sad... some how for me its the opposite... happy and cheerful songs make me sick. Sad songs and angry ones seem funny or happy to me i hate this world and the things i will never have... Let me have a go at them and i will tear them to pieces...
In the future it would be the programmers and the engineers who will build the world... let me be there among them. I will be the shadow that brings death and destruction, let them build their programs and skyscrapers... i will tear it down piece by piece... as they set about tightening the screws and threading the programs together. I will be there loosening and unraveling them...
They will know something is wrong but will never realise the full extent until it is too late...
Been busy these days... made some mirc scripts:
2 rainbow color text changing scripts
1 text changing script
2 coding scripts
5 quoting scripts
extended my op,deop,voice,devoice to include 30 people
1 mass ban kick script (bankicks 10)
1 ban the world script (bans ppl from all the countries i know... too bad max is 30 bans per channel)
multi slap (lame script)
got my auto defence script up
got my auto revenge script up
2 decoder scripts
well thats all... for now... in the pipe line theres color scripts... french translator
if anyone use mirc just tellme... i doubt so...
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/25/2004 06:12:00 PM
Imagine this , sitting infront of the computer, to the left is the stairs, to the right is the sliding door, straight behind my bro's comp, to the left behind reclining on the chair a fricking fat slug of a mother ranting on and on and on... quote "if you are stupid i wouln't say anything - stupid mom" well i recorded some of it... now i gotta look for a wave form editor to cut and paste her words together... bloody bitch... just wait... i feel like making this my holiday project together with programming and playing comp... cool i decided what to do during this holidays -.-" well that bitch of a mom saw my blog's background and says that its dunno what... ermmm polluted or something ... at least she doesn't know wth a blog is ... well... that chienne will never know... she absolutely hates computers so... i guess this is quite safe from her... the best part of this... she keeps saying that my head is polluted or something... ah well too bad so little angel pictures are of man... and now she is complaining that i dun want to study for the damn papers... how the frick can i study with her behind.... now she is cursing me to get 50% in my damn DT sheez... i with she would just buy lots of insurence and get run over... frick that bitch... well tomorrow is geo... and i want to go and search for the waveform editor... till next time...
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/16/2004 01:32:00 PM
Life during o lvls kinda suxs.... nt really that much but it still suxs... can't play games infront of parents... secretly quite possible though... damn holidays are coming... i serious wonder what am i going to do without a good game to play... darkeden... aint that bad... apity the graphixs sucks even more then MU online... lets see... world of warcarft... just found out i can't play it on my comp and my bro can... so i feel like giving it up... mmhmm gates to heaven from egames... lets see... chinese server.... seeems to be up but english not even website up... those malaysians i think sure know how to drag things... ok sure... for me life seems to be as simple as cause and effect... not much goal... if i feel like playing i play feel like eating eat feel like sleeping sleep... feel like jumping over the edge of the world jump... that kind of thing...
lets see... o lvls 4 papers left... geo, amaths paper 2... DT and science mcq... ah well would be over soon... i just remebered that we are supposed to have a bbq somewhere in pasris(dunno spelling) i think... and i dun even know the date... ah well still have 4 papers... still can ask... i think need to go back get some resume or something... also dunno wad date... and seriously... if someone knows any nice online RPGs that doesn't need to play please tag it... not that anyone would read this... just for the stray passerby who happens to chance on this blog... i guess i am pretty boring... face it... someone with such a boring lifestyle as mine would never rant about interesting things... imagine waking up at 6am to check on the world of warcraft dl... and then get caught and lectured by mom... maybe one of these days i will tape a maybe short 30mins one for anyone out there and attach it to my blog so nobody will ever come here again... maybe thats what i should do...
i often wonder... y ppl say that power corrupts... i mean... y would someone example me... if i had the most money in the world want to gain more money?... wth would i buy with it... ok maybe money wasn't the best of choices... lets say... if i was errm superman(lets ignore the kyptonite thingy for now) would i really want more? if so what for? if i had so much power... wth am i going to do with it? oh yea sure maybe i would be tempted to do some impossible things just for the fun of it... maybe thats it... power corrupts because it opens up too many options... and the reasons y ppl with with power wants to stop other ppl from getting it is that the are selfish... awa wth this is too profound for a stupid mind like mine...
ok now about my stupid mom... she started bragging about how she and my father started having errm whats the word... steads since errm 17? wth was she thinking about?... sheez she wants me have arhx? i go out look for one bring home for her to drool at lar zzz stupid mom.. say 17 like very big like that... and i am only 15 sheez... though i think i have seen ppl stead at primary one though i am not very sure... i mean wth is she trying to hint sheez... AND she said she wanted to watch her mouth... one of these days i am going to make a song out of her words... see if i don't... sheez just let me record enuff of her speech and i will do it... to anyone who chances across this blog... suggest a song
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/12/2004 10:34:00 PM
hmm... 3rd day of the o lvls... doesn't feel much difference from normal days... other then i accually study a few lines ... i am kinda lazy to blog... but wth... since taht blood world of warcraft is still having its final stress test... and gates of heaven from egames no idea whether i can get in as a closed beta tester :p ah well will know it by 8nov ^.^ lets see... got sick of maple story and its "cute" characters damn stupid skill also... tried a game called guildwars... took me 4-5hrs of straight patching with 1KB/sec to patch the damn game... well its maths tomorrow... i am aiming for the stars lol... just hope i dun fall... hoping to get A1 for maths... zzz heck will just take waht i get... hmm getting sick of all those "cute" character games... saw a game entitled city of villans... lol if i get to play i sure wouldn't mind... getting sick of SG... ne way have been playing a game of heros 3 with my bro for some times now... almost killing the last enemy lolz... wadever... WTH do my parent have to treat me as a damn child... calling a damn tution teacher to come over and baby sit just because they are going dinner is going alittle too far... ok its alot ... heck... rejected the teacher's offer... maybe i will sleep at 8 today... 7 even... well... this is just great... damn cound card shorted out on me... now i gotta use my discman to play music... my damn father better keep to his promise to get me a better computer after the damn fricking o lvls... well... damn ryl is going commercial... time to stop playing lol... ne way... hearing many ppl getting jobs lol... i certainly aint going to waste my time on that lol... i aint in need of money nor will i get bored... provided ppl play with me... and if i really get a job i am confirm going to get a job with someone i know zzz... if i can't i will just keep staying at home... and my timetable will be ... play.....tired sleep... play... hungry eat...play... lets see how long i will last lol... maybe i should get some excercise... wadever... maybe running or swimming... ;) too all thouse out there struggling with your o lvls have fun and don't regret studying so hard LOL :p
The Death Angel Watches Over You11/03/2004 05:36:00 PM
